Why I am Locked Up in a Looney Bin
by karmentorium
Summary: You know what i like about the real world? It's predictable. Except for this one time when the cast of Avatar jumped through my math room window... dont ask just read ch. 10
1. Chapter 1

**Why I am Locked Up in a Looney Bin**

**Chapter 1: Tell Me I'm Dreaming, Please?**

**Howdy! The author of Alana rides again! My name is sokkalover (of course that's not my real name; my name is Kelsey) and I am here to shed a little light on why Avatar is in the TV and not your classroom. This humor thing is new for me, so cut me a little slack, and I'll do my best! Don't forget, REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer- I don't own Avatar, but if I did, I would be, like, the happiest person in the universe!**

It started out as another utterly boring and useless day at the torture chamber, a.k.a. school. We were having an Algebra test, and I was not completely concentrating. I was thinking of the world's greatest TV show, and how it would be so awesome if the characters were actually real. Poor me.

"Ten minutes left!" my math teacher, Mr. Rockne said his voice cutting into my completely math-related thoughts.

_Crap, _I thought, and began to hastily scribble down answers. I actually might have been able to finish the test and get a decent grade if there hadn't been a _teeny_ little distraction.

"Avatar!" someone yelled, and the next second the window shattered and I was sprayed with glass. I stuck a sliced finger in my mouth and surveyed the scene playing out before me. A bald kid with an arrow on his head landed on the ground in front of my desk and swung a staff he was carrying at someone that was crawling through the window. A gust of wind shot out of it and knocked the person off his feet. That particular person had the boot-oogliest scar you had ever seen.

Several of the people in my class had collapsed, and terrified looking classmates were trying to revive them. Other people were pressed up against the back wall, their eyes as big as dinner plates. My avatar-loving friend Colleen and I, however, were sitting cool and collected at our desks, looking politely interested at what was going on. Not. We were hopping up and down, hugging each other and yelling incoherently.

Next thing my eyebrows were, for all I knew, burned off, and Colleen coughed out a puff of smoke like they do in the cartoons.

"Would you two just SHUT UP?" Zuko roared, for it was indeed Zuko. "I'm trying to catch the Avatar here!"

"Hey! Watch the attitude, buster!" I said, and I stood up on my toes and glared up at him, 'cuz I'm kinda short.

Zuko's face twisted into confusion. "How do you know my name?"

I was thinking about what to do next when the guy of my dreams (lol) climbed through the broken window.

"Aang, are you ok?" Sokka asked, taking in the classroom and my classmates.

"Lovely," Aang snorted, and whacked Zuko over the head with his staff.

"Zuko!" Colleen squealed, and she rushed forward.

I had to stuff my fist in my mouth to keep from yelling for joy and hugging Sokka. He turned and looked at me.

"What in the world are you doing?"

I blushed a deep crimson. "Uh, I uh, cut my hand on the glass," I stuttered, pulling my hand away from my big, fat yap. _Should I tell him my name? Oh, shoot, if I say I'm sokkalover, he will think I'm weird for all eternity._ "Hi, I'm Kelsey."

"I'm Sokka, that's Aang, and the dude with the scar is-"

"Zuko, I know. And I know you're Sokka, and that's the Avatar and that Zuko is trying to catch him and that you have a sister named Katara who's a waterbender." I said this all very fast, and I had the faintest impression that I was freaking Sokka out.

"You're freaking me out," he said, staring at me like I had grown another head. "How do you know all this?"

"Helloooo, it's called cable," I said, shaking my head and grinning. "Ok, I know this is a dream, but I don't want to wake up anytime soon."

"Pardon me," Mr. Rockne broke in. "But we are having a math test and you are being very disruptive. I am going to have to take away honor points. What is your name again?" He began to fill out a little pink slip.

"Uh, my name is Sokka. Kelsey, what are honor points?" Poor Sokka. He looked incredibly confused, probably about the same as I looked. This was too real to be a dream. _Great. Now I'm going crazy! _

"It's our disciplinary system. If you do something wrong, you get honor points taken away. If you don't lose any, you get an Honor Card, and you can use it to get out of class early or have pizza for lunch."

"What's pizza?" Aang asked, walking over. "And where did Katara get off to?"

"She said that she was getting Appa out of the tree, and you'll have to ask Kelsey what pizza is because I have absolutely no idea," Sokka said, jerking his thumb out the shattered window.

I turned around and turned very pale, because the window was taken up by a gigantic furry face. "Aang, you have to get Appa out of here! My classmates are going into conniption fits!" Several more people had passed out on the desks, and all the conscious people were inching towards the door. Some had climbed into cabinets and were now sitting there, shivering.

One of the bolder boys was still sitting in his desk, which happened to be the closest to the door. "What the hell is that thing?" he shouted.

"Hey! No cursing in school!" Mr. Rockne said from under his desk. "Three honor points!" But I seriously doubted that anyone cared about honor points anymore. They were more concerned about getting out of math class with their lives.

"Oh my gawd!" a bratty girl named Sidney yelled. "We're all going to, like, die!"

Something rolled across the floor and hit my foot. It was a peach with a bite out of it. "Hey Sidney, catch!" I called, and she caught the peach and stared at it.

A bundle of ears and fur shot through the window and launched itself on Sidney. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKK!" she screamed, and pulled at the thing that was smothering her. Momo landed on the floor looking extremely disgruntled and grabbed his peach, which Sidney had dropped.

"Chirr, graah, chirr, hissss!" Momo said. (Translation: 3#! $ &$!)

Katara climbed through the window and stared at everyone. "Where are we?" she asked.

"The United States of America," I said importantly, putting my right hand over my heart.

Everyone jumped when the bell rang, and everyone except for me and Colleen tore out of the room.

Zuko began to stir, and Colleen jumped up and ran over to me. "What are we going to do with them?" she whispered in my ear.

"Help them find their way back to Avatar land, and until then, we have to lay low. Today's the first day of Spring Break, so school won't be a problem. I guess they'll have to stay at our places…"

"Ooh, can Zuko stay at my house?" Colleen squealed, clasping her hands together.

"Only as long as you're good," I hissed.

"I'm always good!"

"Sokka, Aang, Katara, follow me. Momo, stay with Appa, ok? Don't move!" I said, picking up my books and walking towards the door. "Colleen, put some cardboard over the hole in the window and get Zuko out of here."

At my locker, I got my books, and pulled out the stuff I had brought to school that day.

"Aang, this is a baseball cap. Get used to wearing them. Katara, I want the hair down, stat. Sokka, you too. If anyone recognizes you, we are in deep doo-doo," I said, tossing the hat to Aang and glaring significantly at Sokka and Katara. "You might want to borrow a sweatshirt too, Aang."

"What does this symbol mean?" Aang asked, taking the cap and looking at it.

"That is the Boston Red Sox insignia. They are the best baseball team ever!" I answered offhandedly. I picked up a sweatshirt. "Here, pull this over your head like a shirt. It can go over what you are already wearing."

"You are so weird," Sokka said.

"On my planet, this is considered normal behavior. Now take your ponytail out!"

Katara was unbraiding her hair. "Why do we have to do this? I don't even know your name!"

"I am Kelsey, queen of the universe and beyond. If you don't take my orders without question, I will have you beheaded!"

"Seriously?" Aang said, clutching his throat and going very pale.

"No. I am just a normal teenager and I have no power whatsoever. Although if you don't get yourselves looking like, um, not yourselves, you will be swarmed with fangirls. Aang, you already know that's not a good thing. Now let's go!"

"Where are we going?" Katara asked, tossing her loose hair over her shoulder.

"To my house, duh!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Why I am Locked Up in a Looney Bin**

**_Bonjour! _(That's hello in French, in honor of school starting) I am _tres, tres_ happy because I just got my computer fixed, so now it works and I can write the stories that you all love, right? RIGHT? Humph. I might as well cut to _le_ chase then. **

**Disclaimer- WHY? Why do they make me say this? It's too painful! Fine, I'll say it. I don't own Avatar. **

**Kudos to all of my reviewers, and I say all of them because I got about a billion reviews! YAY! **

**Back to _le_ story!**

"_This_ is your house? It's huge!" Aang exclaimed as we walked down the driveway.

"Yep, this is where I have lived for 6 years. My parents aren't home right now, so you guys don't have to be introduced for a while," I said, pulling my house key out of my jeans pocket. I unlocked the door and ushered Aang, Katara and Sokka into the big kitchen, with its vaulted ceilings and clean white counters.

"Holy crap!" Sokka exclaimed.

"Yeah, it's pretty big. This is the kitchen, where we keep the food. And through this door is my mom's office and the hallway. Upstairs is my room, my parent's room, the guest room and my bathroom." I dropped my backpack down onto the floor by the counter and grabbed the new issue of _Seventeen_ that had come in the mail.

"Grrrrrrrowl!" Sokka whipped around to find my dog Scout growling at him and raising his hackles menacingly. "Whoa! What is that thing?" Sokka yelled, backing into the refrigerator.

"Down Scout!" I said, grabbing his collar and shutting him in the laundry room. "He's my dog. I also have a cat named Diamond, but she's in my room. Do you think you could move over a tad, Sokka?"

Sokka stepped away from the fridge and stared at me while I opened the door and pulled out a soda. "Any of you guys want a soda? We've got Coke and Sprite."

"What's soda?" Katara asked, peering at the can I held in my hand.

"It's a kind of fizzy drink with caffeine and lots of sugar in it."

"I want one!" Aang said, putting up his hand. I handed him a Sprite. Best not to get that kid too hyper. I gave Sokka and Katara each a Sprite too.

I motioned for them to follow me as I walked up the stairs. We all filed into my room and I flopped down on the bed. "Oh, I forgot to show you. Bathroom is down the hall on the left. There's a shower, a sink and a toilet. Got it?"

All of them nodded, and Aang began to poke around my room. "What are those ribbons from?" he asked, pointing to my awards.

"I won those in horse shows. Horses are kind of like Komodo Rhinos, but they don't have horns and they're not evil. Plus they're not lizards. Now, we need to find you guys some clothes."

"We have clothes," Katara protested, but I had already opened my dresser and started throwing tee shirts and low-rise jeans on my bed.

Katara picked up a hot pink shirt with the words _Hot Enough For Ya?_ printed in yellow across the front. "I can't wear these!" she cried.

"Sure you can! You certainly can't go out in public looking like that!" I said smartly, throwing some tie-dye socks at her.

An hour later, Katara's hair was three inches shorter and was up in a high ponytail, with her bangs fluffed out and wearing an electric blue shirt and dark jeans.

Sokka's hair had been gelled so it looked kind of normal. He was wearing my relaxed fit jeans that were 2 sizes too big for me, and a Nirvana t-shirt.

Aang was dressed in my worn out regular jeans and had a John Deere shirt on. He also had a Quicksilver cap on that nicely covered his arrow.

I settled down into my pillows with my magazine, eager to read about the truth on Amanda Bynes. I didn't notice Sokka open one of my drawers and start sifting through it. "Hey Kelsey, what's this?"

I looked up over the top of my magazine. I had just taken a sip of Sprite, and I promptly spat it out all over my magazine. "Holy shit! Sokka, give that to me right _now_!" I screamed. Sokka had a tampon pinched in between his pointer finger and thumb.

Sokka threw the tampon at me. My face was rapidly turning beet red. "What is it?"

"It's a tampon," I said, not looking at him and reaching for it. He grabbed it away. "What does it do?" he asked

My face lost all of its color immediately. I shot a panicked look at Katara, who had her hands over her mouth. "Uh, I, uh, Katara will tell you!" I said, dumping the load on Katara.

Katara's eyes widened and she mouthed silently and then shot an evil look at me. "It's for girls," she said, grabbing it from him and throwing it at me. It hit my forehead and bounced off.

I grabbed it and shoved it in my underwear drawer, then picked up a thong off the floor. I jammed that in too. Then I slammed it and spread ink on the underside of the handle. "Never touch my stuff unless I tell you that you can. That is rule number one around here. Number two. Don't ever go into my parent's room! They will seriously flip out. Now, find something productive to do, like read a book, or watch TV. In fact, why don't we all watch TV? My favorite show is coming on in half an hour."

"Water, earth, fire, air. Long ago the four nations lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked. Only the Avatar, master of all four elements could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he vanished."

"Hey, that sounds like me! And how do they know about Avatar?" Katara said, sitting up straighter in her chair. We were all downstairs, watching Avatar.

"This is a TV show called Avatar: the Last Airbender. This show is how I knew all your names. Look! There you are Aang," I explained, pointing at the screen, which was now showing the title. "Awesome! The Storm is on! I love this episode!" I ran to my computer and booted it up while watching the television. "And next is… Warriors of Kyoshi! Ooh, Sokka! That episode has some things you might not want Katara and Aang to see on it!" I said, smirking and closing "So that's how Zuko got his scar!" Aang said, staring at the TV with wide eyes.

"You never told me about your past, Aang!" Sokka exclaimed, crossing his arms.

"Shhh!" I said. "Warriors of Kyoshi is on!"

Even later… "Um, guys, how about we stop watching now?" Sokka asked, beginning to get uncomfortable. We were nearing the part when Sokka and Suki shared their tender moment.

I smirked. "But Sokka, this is the good part!" I said.

"I treated you like a girl when I should have treated you like a warrior," Sokka said on the TV.

"I'm a warrior," Suki said, and leaned in and kissed Sokka. "But I'm a girl too." The real Sokka and the TV Sokka both blushed.

Katara and Aang both turned to look at him. Everything was quiet except for the television. "So that's why you were acting so awkward for the rest of the day!" Katara finally said. Sokka stared at his feet.

"Kelsey, I'm home!" my mom called, opening the door.

"Shit!" I said, going pale.

**So, how do you like my new chapter? I got tons of reviews last time, so I am hoping to get lots more because you all wanted me to update! In real life, I love bright colors, so that explains all the clothes. I do ride horses, and I have won quite a few ribbons at shows. Also, I apologize to any guys who happen to be reading this fanfic; I just couldn't resist putting that in. Now, you know you want to, so do it! Push that little blue button and REVIEW! Au revior! **


	3. Chapter 3

Why I am Locked Up in a Looney Bin

Chapter 3: Mild Seizures for Everyone!

**Zippity zap! Kelsey's back! Sorry, just had to get that out of my system. I also apologize for not updating in forever, but I had a mild case of writers block. I appreciate all of your reviews, so please, keep them coming! They are much appreciated. **

Ember90- don't worry, you will be in this chapter!

FireGurl107- never fear, you will be mentioned again in this chapter, and throughout the fanfic!

airbender2- First, I am assuming they came through a swirling vortex of doom connecting our two worlds, then Appa crash landed in a tree outside my school, and Zuko followed them through the vortex and chased Aang through the window of my math room!

ILoveSoraAndAangMuahaha- I hope I spelled that right! Thankies! I am really glad you like that chapter! More insanity to continue!

hatsuharuluva181- thanx for your 2 reviews! Don't worry, there will be plenty more chapters! Oh, and yes, I saw the new episode, and I LOVED it! It was hilarious, dontcha think?

Benlego13- thankies for you 2 reviews! I am glad you like reading my fic, and I will put you in the next chapter! BTW, I go to Annie Wright. So who's your crush? ;D

**Wow, I got so many reviews! I feel so popular! Keep it up, and maybe I will have as many as Alana soon! Maybe more!**

**If you would wish to be in my uberfantabulous fic, send me a review saying, "I wanna be in your fanfic!" and I'll do my best to put you in! **

**In the words of um, Kelsey, onward with _le_ fanfic!**

"Well, gee mom; it's kind of a long story…" I said, looking down and facing the terrible thing that is my mother.

"Kelsey middle name middle name last name! What on earth are two completely strange boys and a strange girl doing in our house? And why does that boy have an arrow on his head!" my mom ranted. I quickly replied before she gave herself a mild seizure.

"Well, you know that show that Colleen, Amber and I really like? Well, these are the main characters in that show. Meet Aang, Sokka and Katara."

"I'm going insane. Ok, this is just a dream. A very bad dream. Anyways, I came home to take you to your riding lesson. It's almost time to go."

"Riding lesson?" I said blankly. Then I remembered. I had a horseback riding lesson with Amber tonight. "Right, guys, you're going to have to come with me, because I don't fancy to see what might happen if I left you here alone. Just give me a minute to get my boots on mom!"

As soon as I had all of my stuff, I loaded it into the car and opened the door. "Ok, now you have to get into the car." Aang willingly climbed in, and Katara followed him. Sokka eyed the car warily.

"Are you sure this thing is safe?" he asked.

"Perfectly safe, unless we get in a car crash!" I said cheerfully, getting in the front seat and putting my seatbelt on.

"Well now I'm convinced," Sokka said dryly, but he climbed in anyways.

My mom climbed in and started the car, mumbling about switching to decaf.

As soon as we got onto the highway, my backpack started to wiggle. "Huh?" I said, and reached over to open it. Momo leapt out of the main pocket and landed on my mom's head, screeching.

"Arrggh! What the hell?" my mom yelled, jerking the steering wheel. The car swerved wildly, and several people leaned out of their windows and made very rude one-fingered signs at us.

Momo was flung forward, and he clung onto my mom's hair as he slid forward and covered her eyes. Uh-oh.

Aang, Katara and Sokka slid from side to side as the car swerved back and forth. I heard police sirens, but then Momo decided to let go of my mom's head and he crawled onto the gas pedal. Double uh-oh. Now my mom could see but she couldn't slow down.

I started to scream as the traffic light turned red, and there were several cars in front of us. Katara and Sokka were screaming like little girls, but Aang leaned out the open window and swung his staff around. Immediately the car lifted off the ground as Aang bended the air underneath it.

Now we were flying through the air at 90 miles per hour. As soon as we flew over the cars, Aang let us drift gently to the ground. But when the wheels touched pavement, we sped forward. I lurched forward, grabbed Momo around the middle and stuffed him back in my pack. Mom braked suddenly as we arrived at the gates of my riding stable. Everyone was flung forward and my seat collapsed as Aang and Katara fell against it.

I groped around for the door handle and slid out of the car. "That was fun. Lets never do it ever again!" I said, falling to the ground.

Aang, Katara and Sokka's faces were all sheet white. I opened the door and was nearly stampeded as they all scrambled out of the car. "Solid land!" Sokka cried, and he fell onto the gravel driveway.

"Oh, it's so dramatic," I said, and walked into the barn with my stuff.

Katara followed me, leaving Aang and Sokka lying in the parking lot. I dropped my stuff off and got my horse, Romeo, out of his stall. He whinnied inquisitively at Katara, and she jumped a mile.

"W-what is that thing?" she asked in a trembling voice.

"Him?" I said, looking back around at Romeo. "He's a flying mushroom with a head and a tail. No, seriously, this is a horse. You ride them like Rhinos."

Katara still looked wary. "Here," I said, shoving a carrot into her hand. Romeo lunged for the carrot, and Katara squealed as he snatched up the treat.

"Hi Kelsey! Who're your friends?" a girl called out from behind me. Katara and I both turned around and I paled as I saw my friend, Amber. "Aaaaaahhhh! You're Katara!" Amber cried, eyes growing in size alarmingly.

"Katar- no, Amber! Gaaahh! You've got me all confused! Ok, person having a mild seizure! Deep breaths, and stop yelling, people are staring. I have nil idea as how these guys got here, but I was just perfectly innocently taking a math test, and Aang gave my class collective heart attacks by jumping through the window. Then I took them to my house and controlled chaos occurred, including some serious humiliation on my part, and then I risked my friggin' life to come here to have a friggin' riding lesson! So please cut me some slack!"

Amber stared at me like I had grown another head.

"Why does everyone always stare at me like that!" I yelled. Sokka and Aang charged through the barn door.

"We heard yelling! What's going on? Who's she?" Sokka said, out of breath. Amber's eyes rolled back into her head, and she fell to the floor, twitching.

"What's wrong with her?" Aang asked, prodding the still twitching form of Amber.

"Amber is slightly unstable up here," I said, pointing to my head. "Any time she sees people who are from a TV show come bursting into the barn, she has a seizure."

"Wow, that's really weird!" Aang said, looking up at me with a serious expression on his face. I blinked.

"I'm kidding." Jeez, my life was getting freakier and freakier by the millisecond. "Need. Aspirin."

After the lesson, Amber had considerably recovered from her seizure. She avidly looked around. "Where's Momo?"

"If you are referring to the thing that almost killed us, he's in here." I pulled the flying lemur out of my backpack. "Oh, this is a problem." The lemur was frozen in place, looking like a very startled earwig. I mean, lemur. His eyes bugged out of his head, and his legs stuck out at funny angles. "Apparently Momo has not quite recovered from the car trip from the Black Lagoon," I said dryly, holding Momo by one of his legs, and waving him around in the air. He was as stiff as a board.

"Momo!" Amber squealed, grabbing the shell-shocked lemur out of my hands. "What have you done to him!" He suddenly went limp and gasped for breath. "He's alive!" Amber rejoiced, cuddling the big-eared ball of fluff.

"Oh, and while your at it Amber, you could worship the ground he walks on," a sarcastic voice said from behind Amber. We all turned to look as the infamous Colleen leaned against the railing. Next to her stood Prince Zuko, looking a bit like a startled earwig himself.

"Oh, Colleen, please tell me you didn't drive over here yourself," I said in a worried voice, glancing over the Fire Nation prince for obvious injury.

My friend sent a look at me that could have killed. "Heh heh," I said sheepishly, rubbing the back of my neck as I shrank away from her wrath. "So, how has Zuko been treating your place? Any furniture been incinerated yet?" I asked, taking a place next to Sokka.

He looked at me. "Wait, Zuko's staying at _her_ house? I thought she was on our side!" Sokka exclaimed, glaring accusingly at Colleen.

I held up my hands palms out. "She is, she is, she just has a major crush on Zuko and wanted him over at her house so she could have her nasty way with him."

Sokka turned about three shades paler and stared at my friend, who was shamelessly flirting with the apparently uninterested Zuko. "Ew," he said, making a face.

"Kelsey, why is Sokka looking at me like that?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Why I am Locked Up in a Looney Bin**

**Chapter 4: Spring Break, Dun Dun Dunnnnn!**

**Howdy! This is your absolute best pally, Kelsey! I am here with a brand spanking new chapter, just for y'all. This chapter is based on a real life experience with the infamous Colleen, up at Banks Lake, Washington (state). Of course, I didn't have the cast of Avatar up there with me just then…**

**Grats to all of my faithful reviewers!**

**Monkaybrains127- thankies!**

**Ember90- I'm glad you liked my chapter! You will be in this one too!**

**FireGurl107- ditto as Ember90's**

**Benlego13- you will be in chapter 5, I PROMISE!**

**Katuko- thank you for your review!**

**Thankies for your nice reviews! Please protect my ego and keep reviewing!**

My mother was in absolutely no condition to drive, so I grabbed the keys out of her shaking hands and started the car. This seemed to snap her out of her frightening reverie.

"No way, young lady. You are not driving home."

"But mo-om, I passed driver's ed with flying colors!" I complained, putting on a puppy face. My mom can never resist the puppy dog pout. "I don't even know how Colleen passed her driving test, and you know I'm a much better driver than she is!"

Finally she gave in. Now all I had to do was convince Sokka, Katara and Aang to get in the "death trap on wheels", as Sokka put it. Zuko also looked incredibly wary as Colleen shut the car door on him and went around to the driver's side.

I easily convinced Aang and Katara in by explaining that Momo was safely in my backpack and that I was driving the way back. Sokka seemed to doubt my driving skills though.

"How can I be positive that someone my own age can drive one of these things?" he asked. It was actually a pretty good question.

"I have taken and successfully passed driver's ed on my first try," I explained. "Besides, driving is a breeze!" Damn it, I always say things like that when bad things happen. Good thing mom drove home with Amber, otherwise I would have gotten grounded for sure. The police officer didn't seem to believe that I had TV characters in the backseat of my car and that a flying lemur had buzzed my head, causing me to floor the gas pedal. Hey, at least I didn't kill anyone this time. Wait, did I say that? I meant, I didn't kill anyone.

"I am so not trusting you ever again," Sokka said as he shakily climbed out of the car.

"Aw, come on, we didn't even go as fast as we did on the way there," I said, locking the car and going inside the house.

Obviously Colleen hadn't heard us drive up, because as I opened the door, I received a hefty whack on the head with a frying pan.

"Oh, look at all the pretty canaries," I said, and passed out.

When I woke up, there were about 6 Colleens, Sokkas, Kataras and Aangs. "No, not the birdies! Anything but the birdies!" I said, sitting up and rubbing my aching head.

"Are you ok?" Colleen asked, handing me an ice pack. I promptly dropped the dripping towel on my shirt.

"Perfect. Now I have to go change my shirt. And don't drink the pink stuff!" They stared at me, of course, like I had another head. "Stop staring at me that way! Gawd!" I screeched, standing up and wobbling up the stairs.

"We should call a doctor," Katara said, picking up the ice.

"For who?" my mom asked, walking through the door. "Kelsey, you need to start packing!"

"What for?" I said. Now I was still slightly off in the head, so I can't remember exactly what happened, but I recall falling down the stairs in nothing on top but a bra. Thankfully my mother was not in the front hall, so she didn't see the whole ordeal. Unfortunately, there were three guys that were standing in the front hall.

Katara quickly slapped a hand over Aang's eyes, and Sokka turned very red indeed. Zuko's ears began to smoke as he quickly looked away, and Colleen rushed forward and dragged my comatose form up the stairs.

I woke up when my head rammed against the top step. She finished pulling me into my room, and I sat up on the floor, grabbing a rumpled shirt off the floor and savagely jerking it over my poor, aching head. "My life is absolute crap," I said, groaning and sinking my face into my sheepskin rug.

"And it's about to get even more crappy," Colleen said, sitting down next to me. "Your mom reminded me that we're leaving for Banks Lake tomorrow, remember?"

"Aaaaaahhhh! Fuck," I moaned, cradling my face in my hands. My dear friend pulled a suitcase out of my walk-in and began neatly packing it with clothing. "Now I suggest you go down there and explain to your mother why you have two black eyes and a huge lump on your forehead."

"What!" I shrieked, scrambling up and dashing to the nearest mirror. "I do not have a lump on my forehead, or black eyes!"

"Gotcha."

I rush-tackled Colleen and pinned her to the floor, taking my hair spray and coating her hair with several layers of it. As a result, her long, dirty blonde hair was sticking up in funny angles.

We finally stalked downstairs with our hair dampened to counteract the hair spray. Katara was busy slapping Sokka, who had a very peculiar look on his face. It was a mixture of complete and total shock, and utter joy.

"Somebody get the boy off of the fairy dust," I said, brandishing the frying pan, which had a head-shaped dent in the bottom. "Zuko, get over yourself. Eventually you are going to see girls in bras, and I just helped you along the road of teenage life."

The exiled 16 year-old still had steam pouring out of his ears, and his face was cherry red.

"Colleen, I suggest you take Zuko home and give him some Tylenol, he appears to have a fever. As for me, I need to go onto a 12 step program on how to get over complete and utter humiliation. And don't even _think_ about staring at me like I have another head," I said, shaking a warning finger at Colleen, who's eyes were widening in the hated stare. "Sokka, Aang, you guys are sleeping in the guest room. It's straight ahead up the stairs. Katara, you'll be in my room. If there are any questions I shall punish you for all eternity by siccing my evil, mutant dust bunnies on you."

In the morning, when we had finally succeeded in dragging Sokka out of his bed ("It's too comfortable!"), I made toast for us, and poured out tall glasses of orange juice. My mom lent me her credit card so that I could get some clothes for Sokka, Katara and Aang. A very foolish thing of her to do, really. After I had spent an inexorable amount of money on clothes for me and Sokka, Katara and Aang, I drove home and began to pack.

Finally we were ready to set off. Amber was driving her car there, and my parents drove their station wagon (ugh!). I drove the gang, including Colleen and Zuko, in our hybrid SUV. "Last call for bathroom break!" I said, starting the motor, and we were off, heading straight into a vacation full of tubing, radioactive socks, and all around chaos!

**Well, there it is. Your chapter, a la mode. If I sound really flat and un Kelsey-like, it's because I am seriously pissed off. Amber wrote a fanfic called "I Think We're in- AAHHH!", and if you have read it, you know what I'm talking about. Well, someone called Oogieboogeyman() flamed her fic, BIG TIME! I'll just say that it was horrible, not to mention they not only dissed Amber, they dissed me and Colleen! If you want to read the evil flame, go to **** and click on Wall of Shame.**


	5. Chapter 5

Why I am Locked Up in a Looney Bin

Chapter 5: I Hate My Life…

**Hello all of my fabbity fab peeps! It is I, the great Kelsey, here to appease your many (and really quite intimidating) reviews. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, and so on and so forth. Ok, this chapter is based on a trip that I took to Banks Lake with Colleen. I am sorry you guys thought the last chapter was a little confusing, but I was just using that chapter as a connecter for chapter 3 and 5. Right now I am making no sense whatsoever, so I am going to shut up now.**

**Disclaimer- why do the people on have to be so mean as to make us say that we don't own the best TV show ever… still babbling, shutting up now.**

Monkaybrains127- I can totally relate. I just got back from a friend's sleepover birthday party. We went to Fright Fest at Wild Waves, and ate so much junk food that Colleen got sick! (I hope she doesn't kill me for saying that…)

Kira-kira neko- glad you like my story. Don't worry, I will try and put Zuko in some more.

Zukosfire22- I am getting seriously wigged out here. First your virtual pet monkey currently named Paul threw FAT FREE yogurt at me (very scary) and now he is throwing diet vanilla Pepsi at me! What's with the low fat stuff?

Romancejunkie- glad you like it!

Sulana Jay- thankies!

Lensgirlfriend- I'm glad you like the chapter, but don't slap Sokka, that's mean! There, there Sokka, it will be all right… why are you staring at me like I have another head? Don't you know I hate that!

Benlego13- you WILL be in this chapter! I wrote it on the back of my hand!

**After people are done intimidating me with monkeys and staring at me like I have another head, I can get back to the story!**

"I _told_ you that we were supposed to turn left there!" Amber said all frustrated-like.

"Sod off," I growled, glaring at the map like it had just mortally insulted me.

"Kelsey, be nice," my mother said, poking me in the back of the head.

"WTF! Mom, you're not supposed to be here! I thought you were letting us all go up to the lake _by ourselves_," I yelped, leaping out of the seat like a leaping thing.

"Don't worry, I am a figment of your imagination, I am a mirage, I am not real."

"Good God, I am going insane," I growled, pounding my head on the wheel repeatedly. "Amber, you drive. I am suffering from delirium." Amber shrugged good-naturedly and took the wheel. My mother disappeared into thin air, and I began to question my sanity (again) as Amber took the correct turn and brought us to Banks Lake.

(A/N: the mom thing was really random, I know. But I was bored and couldn't think of anything)

Katara, Amber, Colleen and I went into our own little villa and got unpacked, while Sokka, Aang and Zuko went into theirs. After I got my stuff put away, I walked over to the guys' villa and knocked on the door. "Get your suits on, guys! It's a nice day and we're going to go swimming." Aang nearly bowled me over as he tore out of the villa in his new swim trunks. "What the hell? You are going to kill someone, crazy person!" I yelled after him.

All was explained when Zuko came barreling through the door after him. "Avatar!" Zuko yelled, sprinting like crazy. I was promptly shoved aside and landed in a heap.

"Ow, pain, pain, pain!" I screamed, untangling myself. I had somehow managed to land with my foot behind my head, and my arm bent a way that it is not supposed to bend. Thank heavens it wasn't broken, but it hurt. A lot.

Katara walked out of the door in the most adorable bikini. It had taken a lot of time to convince her to buy them, but it was worth it. The girl had an almost perfect figure.

"What in the world happened to you?" she asked, watching me try and pull my foot back to where it was supposed to be, which is not behind my head.

"I was stampeded. Please go and find Aang before Zuko tries to take him to the Fire Nation," I said, finally pulling my foot free. Gingerly, I stood up and limped over to our villa. "No, seriously." Katara gave me a weird stare, almost but not quite like I had another head. I growled at her.

"Fine, fine, but I am still very confused here."

"Another thing. You need to learn the lingo around here. You can't walk around going 'oh Aang, where art thou?' because people will stare at you."

"What is this "lingo" that you speak of?" Katara said, making the little annoying quotation marks with her fingers in the air.

"Whazzup dawg!"

She stared at me. Guess how?

"For the last friggin' time! Stop staring at me like I have another head! Because I don't!" I was beginning to snap. I think I lost a few of my marbles when Zuko knocked me over.

"Kelsey?" I heard someone ask from behind me. I turned around to find myself staring at someone I had never met before. Yep, losing marbles.

"Can I help you?" I said dryly, massaging my legs, trying to get the cramps out of them.

"Are you Kelsey? It's me, Ben!" I stared at him like _he _had another head. (MWAHAHAHAHAHA! rubs hands together evilly what a turn of events!) "Oh wait, Ben, as in, benlego13?" I asked, finally realizing exactly who the person was.

"Yeah! Fancy meeting you here! Who're your friends?"

"Uh," Uh as in uh-oh! What was I supposed to say, 'Oh yeah, this is Katara, that's her brother Sokka, her friend Aang the Avatar, and the dude with the scar is Prince Zuko! You know, from the TV show!'? No, I cannot say that. "Uh, this is Katie, that over there is her brother Sean, her friend, um, Aaron, and that's Zack, who has no relation to them whatsoever."

He seemed to believe this, and leaned closer to Katara. "You seem familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?"

"No!" I said, stepping in front of her. He looked at me oddly.

"Um, were you anywhere in the Earth Kingdom recently?" Katara said, looking thoughtful. I leapt on her and slapped my hand over her mouth.

"So sorry, she's a little over obsessed with Avatar." Hey, it's the truth.

Ben's eyes widened. "Omigod, you're Katara, aren't you? And that's Sokka, and Aang, and Zuko!" at this statement his eyes rolled back into his head and he fainted dead away.

"Crap," I said, removing my hand from Katara's mouth and then going over and pounding my head against a tree. "Crap, crap, crap, double crap! Ouch…" I yelped, rubbing my forehead.

"Avatar, get back here!" Oh, God. I started to sprint towards the water, promptly bowling over Amber and Colleen as I ran.

"Sorry, but I'm just doing what was going to happen eventually!" I yelled over my shoulder. A cloud of dust was visible over the top of the hill, and Aang streaked down, sending dust everywhere. Zuko was dragging along after him, gasping and panting. "Ava… tar." He gasped, falling flat on his face on the dock.

"Tsk, tsk," I said, looking down at him and shaking my head. I reached down and grabbed his shoulders and hauled him into the nice motorboat that my family rented.

Aang looked very disturbed indeed, and I was just wondering what he was staring at so oddly, when he broke into my train of thought. "That is the _tiniest_ boat I have ever seen," he said blandly.

"Yeah, well, looks can be deceiving, because this bad boy can go up to 85 miles per hour." I patted the boat proudly, and Aang's face lit up. He leapt into the craft, named _Warrior Princess_, and bounced up and down excitedly. "That's even faster than the Omashu super slides!"

Presently, Katara and Sokka came over the hill, closely followed by Amber and Colleen. They all climbed in and I started the motor. (A/N: how old do you have to be to drive a boat? Oh, well, in my little universe I can drive.)

_This has got to be the strangest predicament that I have ever gotten myself into. _The infamous Admiral was standing on the deck of his ship, looking down at the water unhappily. Either the ocean had shrunk, or he had been magically transported through a rip in time and space into a lake. _Wow, I never knew that an ocean could dry up so fast. _

Zhao's boat was wedged in between two faces of the cliffs surrounding Banks Lake. i.e., he couldn't move. His massive hunk of steel took up the whole canyon.

"Sir?" he heard a voice behind him say. Zhao turned around and glared at the pale white face of one of the crew members. "We seem to have been stuck in a canyon, sir."

"I KNOW!" Zhao roared, looking even more like a bald monkey as he did so.

"That's strange," Zuko said, sitting up straighter in his seat. "I could have sworn I had heard Admiral Zhao just a second ago."

"Nah, how could he be here?" I said, waving the remark off. "You guys are in a different world now, remember?"

"Can we go faster?" Aang moaned, staring at the blank faces of the canyon walls.

"Sure," I said. "Why don't you look under the seat and get out the inner tube." Aang obediently did as he was told, pulling out the purple and red tube. I attached the lines quickly, then slowed the boat and threw the tube into the water. "Now jump on! It's more fun with a partner, why don't you go too, Sokka?"

"Okay," Sokka said, shrugging off his t-shirt and climbing on the tube. Colleen's eyes widened and she turned to me.

"Did you see what I just saw?" she asked. My mouth was hanging open and I was gasping for air like a fish out of water.

"Yep," I managed to choke out. Zuko may be really muscular, but Sokka was a GOD. Zuko's abs paled in comparison to Sokka's. Katara waved a hand in front of my face.

"Hello? Earth to Kelsey? What is wrong with you?" she said, snapping her fingers in front of my nose. I came back to earth with a thump. "Nothing," I said hastily, and I turned around and started the engine. Pressing my foot onto the acceleration, the motorboat sped off.

Aang was obviously having the time of his life. His thumb was straight up in the air, the signal for "go faster!" I had educated them all on the art that is biscuiting before I even let them get near the tube. Sokka, however, looked like this was the last place on earth he wanted to be. He was curled up into a little ball, knuckles whit from clutching the handles, and his thumb was in danger of plowing through the tube, it was so low.

I decided to heed Sokka's call, since he wasn't used to traveling at such high speeds yet, and slowed down to 20. Aang was extremely displeased, and he showed this by sticking his tongue out and shoving his hand forward. A blast of air hit the boat, and it shot forward.

"Holy shit we are all going to die!" I screamed, trying frantically to slow down. But Aang's airbending was pushing the boat at unimaginable speeds. Colleen was shrieking her head off, and Amber was clutching the sides of her seat, mouth open as if to scream, but nothing was coming out. Zuko was thrown into the backseat, and he almost flipped over the top of it before regaining his composure and screaming like a baby.

Sokka looked like he had passed out, but Aang's facial expression was one of pure delight. I gave up trying to slow down and attempted to steer instead. I hauled on the steering wheel and turned the boat around the corner of the canyon, only to be greeted by a most disturbing sight.

"Oh my friggin' God, we are about to crash into Zhao's friggin' ship," Colleen yelled, and crash we did. There was a huge explosion and we all died.

**The End**

(A/N: no, wait, that's a horrible way to end a fanfic, so I think I'll carry it on a bit longer.)

We did crash, and there was an explosion, but instead of dying a bloody, brutal death, we were thrown into the air, landing with very hard thumps on a very hard surface of Zhao's ship.

"Bleeding hog monkeys!" Zhao shouted. "I demand that you all get off of my ship immediately."

"Sorry, I don't speak monkey," I said dryly from my position on the deck. I was currently being crushed by both Zuko and Amber, and trust me, they are HEAVY!

"What did you say?" Zhao seethed, glaring daggers at me. I shoved my two friends off of my chest and stood up, brushing myself off.

"I'm terribly sorry, kind sir, but I do not speak monkey language. Do you want a banana?"

Zhao exploded in a fury, dashing for me. As he neared me, I prepared myself. He was within two feet of me when I raised my foot and kicked him where the sun don't shine. Hard. He yowled like a wounded animal, which he was, and nearly passed out.

Everyone was laughing their head off, and nobody really noticed when Jun, Iroh, and Jun's Xirxou fell from the sky until the huge beast landed on the convulsing figure of Admiral Monkey Butt.

Jun's eyes were the size of boulders, and her hair was all windswept. The Xirxou was sniffing around bewilderedly, trying to find a familiar scent. Iroh, on the other hand, looked completely at peace, and had produced a bowl of noodles from his sleeve. "Ah, dear nephew. I was wondering where you had run off to. I was especially worried when I noticed that you had not brought Mr. Snuggle Wuggles with you." And at that the retired General reached into his sleeves once more and pulled out a very tattered looking teddy bear. "So I asked Miss Jun to assist me in my search for you."

Zuko shrieked and leapt forward to snatch the teddy bear out of his Uncle Iroh's hands. "Mr. Snuggle Wuggles! I missed you!" he cooed, cuddling the stuffed toy close and hugging it.

This time the entire boat stared at him like he had grown another head. Zuko noticed everyone staring at him and shoved the bear into his armor, his whole face turning red. "What?" he asked, looking very disgruntled.

I cradled my head in my hands. "I hate my life."


	6. Chapter 6

**Why I am Locked Up in a Looney Bin**

**Chapter 6: Prisoners of the Monkey Cult**

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but school has been a bitch. Why does everyone say this? Oh well, I am so generic. I FEEL SO LOVED! All of you absolutely adored my last chapter, and have expressed it in many different ways! I tell you, if there ever was a nice warm fuzzy feeling, that was it, when I checked my email during Government (whoops, you weren't supposed to hear that!) and saw a nice lovely stack of reviews! To make you reviewers happy and give you a treat for all of your lovely reviews, I will give out… bananas! In honor of the monkeyest buttwipe ever, Admiral Zit. There is also a poll! Should I, or shouldn't I, make a sequel to this thing? And what should it be called? The Life and Times of a Disturbed Teenager? Or What Are You Doing with that Straightjacket? OR When Pigs Fly? Tell me! NOW!**

**Ahem. There are a few well deserved kudos to give out! PARTY! Woot! **

**_Renealee- YAY! I am sooo glad you like my story! Here's a banana! When you eat it, think of yourself biting of The Zit's head. Oh, and yes. You are incredibly random! Write some fanfics please!_**

_**Zukosfire22- oooookay thanks for the review?**_

_**Sulana Jay- yes yes! Everyone needs a teddy! Glad you likies! **_

_**Lalaluvavatar- yes, his name is Mr. Snuggle Wuggles. And don't knock it! HAHAHA I love to see people grovel! AHAHAHA!**_

_**Monkaybrains127- you are the second person to use the word fuck in your review for chapter 5… I must be uberpopular! WOOT! Please, not the hog monkeys! Anything but the hog monkeys!**_

_**Almostinsane- I'm glad you like it! I will keep up the complete and total randomness!**_

_**Benlego13- of course you are! You loyally reviewed Alana and so you get your reward! Here is a banana and yes, you will continue to be in this wacko fanfic!**_

**_Firegurl107- Nu uh! Sokka is WAY cuter than Zuko! He is HOTT personified! But whatever, enjoy the chappie, I know you will. _**

After everyone had finished staring at Zuko freakishly, I broke the silence. "Wow, never would have expected that. But then again, the avatar cast crashed through my math room window, so I don't know what to expect!" I said in a high-pitched voice.

Sokka stirred things up a bit by falling over laughing, and it was one of those really hard laughs that are really contagious, so soon the whole boat was vibrating from our fits of laughter, and Zuko had the good grace to blush. Iroh just smirked through his mouthful of noodles, and Jun had a very humorous quizzical look on her face, so I took one look and laughed even harder.

The poor Xirxou had absolutely no idea what was going on, so it backed up and reared on its hind legs. Jun went tumbling off, and stood up immediately, angrily cracking her whip. Iroh spilled his noodles on himself. "Ow! HOT!"

"Now that's just a crying shame," I said with a perfectly straight face, kinda weird because I had been splitting my sides a second earlier. I was looking at Zhao, who I instantly gave a new nickname: Admiral Pancake, seeing as he had been squished flat by the Xirxou's hairy butt. He peeled himself off the deck and gave a very 2-D glare at me.

"I have had enough of your trickery, you insolent little peasant. You and your companions are now prisoners on my ship!" and with that he re-inflated himself and focused his limited attention span on exactly who my companions were. "The Avatar!" he exclaimed triumphantly. "And you, Prince Zuko, have been traveling with him all this time, and haven't even captured him."

"He tried!" Colleen piped up furiously. "Go right ahead Colleen. Defend your boyfriend and leave us to suffer with the Pancake." I drawled sarcastically.

"He's NOT my boyfriend!"

"Aw, c'mon Colleen, we all know how much you rave about him and his abs," Amber said, joining into the fray.

"Shut the hell up!" Colleen yelled, not very nicely.

"Such language for such a young girl," Zhao said, staring at her.

"Such huge sidies for such a fat monkey," she growled.

I was standing there just looking from Colleen to Zhao like someone watching a tennis match. Mind you, not my tennis matches, otherwise they would look one way and then the other, and then stop. Because I suck. "Play nice you two," I said, stepping between them before Colleen was reduced to carbon.

Zhao snarled, and grabbed my arm. "AAAAAAAAAAA monkey cooties!" I screamed, thrashing around. Two of his cronies stepped out of the shadows and grabbed Colleen and Amber. Even more swarmed out and grabbed Zuko, Sokka, Aang, and Katara. They were dragged to the dungeons, and we, well we were dragged even harder into a blank steel room.

"You three are going to be the entertainment for the crew tonight," Zhao said evilly. He stepped out of the doorway briefly, and then came back with a pile of something in his hands. "I want you to put these on." He held out a bundle of clothes. I took them quizzically, but all was revealed when the "clothes" turned out to be skanky little outfits like frilly thongs and leather bras, and whips and high heels.

"Well, sorry to disappoint you, but I am extremely disinclined to acquiesce to your request," I said hotly, holding the lingerie back out to him. Colleen lifted up a lacy black thong, then seeing what it was, dropped it like it was on fire.

"Come again?" Zhao said.

"Oh, how silly of me, I forgot that your puny monkey brain cannot process a complete sentence. Let me put it into a language that you will understand. You can shove these clothes where the sun don't shine. Got it?" I said sweetly, batting my eyes at him innocently.

He roared and lunged for my throat, fists flaming. I ducked and his punch landed on a steel wall. He was now howling in pain again, hopping around clutching his swollen fist. I tut-tutted and walked out the door, right past the guards, who were too busy staring at the lingerie to notice I was gone. Colleen and Amber quickly followed. We tiptoed through the corridors until we found ourselves completely lost.

"Where in the world are we?" Amber asked, her voice echoing off the walls.

Suddenly we heard footsteps coming down the hallway. "Uh-oh," I said, gulping and turning around.

**MWAHAHA! Cliffy! I'm sorry this chapter was so short, but I promise I will update quickly and post a nice new longer chapter very soon!**

**luv to all, **

**Kelsey **


	7. Chapter 7

Ok pplz, NONE of you guys responded to my poll! I need to know! Should I make a sequel? And what should it be called? I NEED TO KNOW! Please? With Sokka on top?


	8. Chapter 8

**Why I am Locked Up in a Looney Bin**

All Hail the Bitch Princess and Bow Down to Fire Lord Llama

**Ok. For the past few days, I have been drowning in reviews that say "Yes! Sequel! Soon!" so I am going to appease you guys. There will be a sequel. Now if I could only figure out the bloody title! Ok. A vote. What would you rather have it be called? The Life and Times of a Disturbed Teen, WTF? (Courtesy of reanealee) OR Another Fic Where you get Sucked into the TV? (That one's just a backup. I don't even know if it will fit in the space) OR Prisoner of the Men in White Coats?**

**Many kudos to give out today! **

**The archer- well excu-use me. Answering persistent questions, yes, you will continue to be in this uberfabu fic, and no, I didn't forget that you changed your name, Benny boy (lolness). curtsies My apologies Prince Ben.**

**FireGurl107- hugs me glad you likies! HUZZAH! SNOW DAY! DAMN CAPS LOCK. Oh well. _A dream is a wish your heart makes!_ I even tease you through fanfiction. HAHA! **

**Renealee- of course I will put you in my fanfic! hugs Ok, hugs for everyone! -huggles everyone who reviewed and hands them bananas-**

**Salsa Mocha Chika- OMG I LOVE your name! And thanks for your review! **

**Yoko1212- yes, I remember you. I am updating as quickly as I can! Thanx 4 reviewing!**

**Sulana Jay- hi hi! Sorry about the scare, my compooper was being retarded. I hope you like this chapter!**

**If I forgot to mention you, thanks for reviewing anyways. -passes out anonymous bananas- but I got so many reviews that I can't keep track of them! Thanks you guys!**

**Dun Da Dunn! It continues! Who was walking down the hallway…? WARNING: a lot of swearing in this one! Whoopee! **

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Miss Snarky, the Bitch Princess," I said, cocking my head at the figure in front of me. In a flash I was pinned to the wall by a hand around my neck.

"What did you call me?" Princess Zula snarled, pressing hard against my throat.

"Miss- Snarky- Bitch- Princess-" I choked, gasping for air. I impressed myself with my ability to be smart-alecky even in the face of impending doom. "Gerroff- me." I curled my knees up to my chest and kicked Zula in hers.

"Oof!" she gasped, slamming against the wall. Unfortunately that made a lot of noise, and it attracted some unwanted attention. Zhao hurried around the corner and stood in front of us.

"Ha! I found you, you little sneaks," he exclaimed triumphantly. I was sitting on the floor, holding my throat and wheezing. Zhao's eyes came to a rest on me, and he picked me up by my neck.

_What is it with my neck? Do I have "Choke Me" written on there somewhere? _I thrashed around in his grasp, turning redder by the second as my windpipe was squished.

"You're the one who kicked me, aren't you? Well, I'm going to have a lot of fun with you."

Colleen moaned, cradling her head in her hands (A/N: it's an inside joke, she's going to kill me for this -). Amber was staring dumbfounded at an unconscious Zula, while outside, Jun and Zuko battled their way through the soldiers who were trying to capture them. Iroh just sipped his tea from his trusty old ACME Portable Tea Cup and Kettle.

I began to see spots in front of my eyes, when suddenly Zhao let go of my throat. I crumpled on the steel (ouch) floor and massaged my bruised neck. I looked up to see what was happening, and found myself looking at… a llama? No, it couldn't be a llama. But there it was, standing all proud and llama-like with a little crown thing that looked just like Fire Lord Ozai's.

Amber's head did that little Anime thing where it tilts to the side and there's a little screeching sound, and Colleen's jaw dropped open. Zhao was bowing down in front of the llama.

"My Lord," he said, looking up at Fire Lord Llama.

"Whoa," I gasped, finding my voice. It was unpleasantly scratchy and sounded like I had sucked on a helium balloon for a while. "You're a llama? No wonder we never got to see your face. You look like a llama that sucked on a lemon!"

I ducked before he could grab my poor neck like only a llama could grab, but he managed to singe some of my blonde hair with his uberpowerful llama firebending. "Hey!" I yelled. "Where the hell are all of you coming from? First it was the main characters, but then it was Zhao, and then Jun and Iroh, and now it's Ozai and Zula! Go home!"

I made an awesome slashy motion with my arm, and all of a sudden a portal opened up in the air in front of me. Instantly Ozai and Zula disappeared, and Jun, the Xirxou and Iroh came zooming into it. Zhao grabbed onto his ship as the portal tried to suck him in, but I dropped my hand stupidly and the portal closed up.

"Aw shit." I said, trying to do the slashy motion again, but nothing happened. Zhao let go of the doorway and turned to us with malicious glee in his eyes.

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_Now back to the story!_

Amber, Colleen and I all stood in the middle of our little steel room, wearing those ridiculous skanky outfits Zhao shoved under our noses.

"I can't believe I'm actually wearing this," I complained, staring down at my outfit of a black lacy bra with matching boy short undies, thigh length pantyhose with garters, and stilettos. "I feel like a slut."

"At least he gave us a choice," Colleen piped up miserably from the corner.

"Yeah, which was we get to put them on, or the crew puts them on for us," Amber snorted, examining her own outfit. "Where did he get this stuff anyways, unless they have exciting underwear stores in Avatar land?"

"I think I saw a Victoria's Secret catalogue in his room as we walked by it," Colleen joked, trying to lighten us up. Amber and I glared at her, and she shrank back into her corner.

Suddenly the doorknob rattled, and I poised myself for a powerful kick to the family jewels if Admiral Zhao should even think to come near us. But when the door swung open, it was Zuko who stood in the doorway.

"Zuko! You saved us!" Colleen squealed, throwing her arms around his neck and planting a kiss on his cheek.

"Get off me, you crazy girl!" he yelled, pushing her away. I dropped out of my fighting stance and pulled Amber to her feet, trying hard not to break my ankle in those stupid shoes. "What in the world are you wearing!" he exclaimed, noticing our new clothes.

"These are courtesy of Monkey Face," I said, trying very hard not to blush. Colleen and Amber had also noticed their own predicaments, and looked like human tomatoes. "Can we go now? Before the armada catches up to us?"

We ran, or rather, did a very good impression of running, down the hall, until we passed Zhao's room again. He was lying on the floor, out cold, and there was a ring of keys hanging on a hook labeled "Dungeons", so I grabbed the keys and we headed for the dungeons.

I walked down the row of cells until I came to one that was occupied. Sokka and Katara were huddled in there, and Katara was crying. "Psst! Guys! We're busting you out!" I hissed, trying some of the keys until one fit in the lock. The door swung open and Katara threw herself at me, sobbing her thanks into my shoulder.

Sokka was staring at all of us girls, and I glared right back at him. He caught on and looked away, a light blush coloring his cheeks pink. "Where's Aang?" I asked, looking into all of the vacant cells.

"They took him down to a high security cell at the end," Sokka whispered, pointing down the row.

We walked as quietly as we could, but when we reached the far door, two guards stepped out of the shadows. Quick as a blink, my stilettos found the two guard's most sensitive spots, and we pushed open the door.

Aang was only too happy to come along with us, although he did stare at our ensembles for a second. Katara quickly enveloped him in a bone-crushing hug though, and he instantaneously forgot all about us as he hugged Katara back.

"Ahem," I said, breaking the two lovebirds apart. "As much as I would like to continue this romantic reuniting, but we have to haul ass before the guards get up."

And so we ran/staggered up the stairs and out onto the deck, became temporarily blinded by the sunlight, and stopped at the railing, wondering how the hell we were going to get off this ship.

"How the hell are we going to get off this ship?" Colleen asked, looking around the canyon. "I really don't feel like swimming all the way back, and we don't have a boat anymore."

A sharp whistle echoed off the canyon walls, and we all hurried over to the other side of the deck. Sitting in the water was a sleek motorboat, and in the seat were two people, one person I recognized and one I didn't.

"Ben!" I yelled, waving madly.

Colleen fetched some rope and we tied it to the railing, and then climbed down into the speedboat. I took off my shoes and held them in my hand as I climbed down.

"Who are you?" Ben asked Colleen and Amber, and they quickly introduced themselves. "And what on earth are you wearing?"

I sighed. "It's a long story. Who are you?" I directed my question to the girl sitting next to him.

"I'm Ellen, but my name on is Reanealee.Who are you?" she said, being annoyingly perky. I immediately decided this girl was worth being friends with.

"I'm Kelsey," I said simply, too mentally exhausted to come up with a witty reply.

"Oh my God, are you serious? The one who wrote Why I'm Locked Up in a Looney Bin? I can't believe I'm meeting you!"

"Chica, you're IN Why I'm Locked Up in a Looney Bin," Colleen stated, tearing her gaze off of "her hero" for 2 seconds.

"Holy SHIT!"

"Yeah. Join the club," Amber laughed.

**So? Whadja think? Did you like? I need reviews! They keep me sane, although I might just be a little on the un-sane side… SEASON FINALE TONIGHT, oh my God I can't wait! This chapter was dedicated to my best chica Colleeny Beany, who is just so much fun to tease. You should have heard her dream that she had the other day… is tackled by Colleen-san HEY! -bites Colleen- see you- punch- on the next- TAKE THAT!- installment of -OW! THAT HURT!- WHY I'M LOCKED UP IN A LOONEY BIN! -I'll teach you to mess with me, bitch! HIYAAHH!-**

**One armed hugs,**

**Kelsey-san**

**BTW, didn't the season finale totally kick ass?**


	9. Chapter 9

**Why I am Locked Up in a Looney Bin**

**Chapter 9: Holy Grails and HOLY CRAP!**

**AHA! I am (finally) back with the ubergooberly cool chapter nine! And I must say, if you have never experienced writer's block before, it's a painful thing. I got all these reviews saying "Update please!" and I had to reply saying I had a MAJOR case of writer's block. Which I did. Just so you know. Oh, and I have decided on a title for the sequel! It is…. Drumroll please…… Water, Earth, Fire, Air, and Duct Tape. I got the idea from my school's DI team poster. You like, you don't like, let me know! I have no soul and I haven't updated in the longest time. But I have another excuse! Midterms are coming up and I have had to study like CRAZY! Well, enough of my ramblings. Moving on… oh yeah, one last little thing. This chapter has some Zutara, some kissing, and some teen partying in it –cough-alcohol-cough-, so if you don't like that stuff, sucks for you. Also, this chapter has some, ahem, GIRL problems in it, if you catch my drift. I am sooo evil, making you wait and then giving you a crap chapter… bwahahaha… **

**Disclaimer- for God's sake, I don't own Avatar! If I did, we'd get to see Sokka shirtless… mwahaha… seriously, we have seen every other main male character shirtless (Zuko, Zhao, Iroh, Aang) except for Sokka! I mean, what is up with that! The people at Nick Studios are a buncha sadists, making us Sokka fangirls have to suffer through Zuko and Aang's bods and denying us of Sokka's abs. **

**KUDOS!**

**The archer- I like pie. Pie is good. Thanks much for the review and here is your lovely chapter, and yes, you are in it. **

**Renealee- oops! Sorry, Ellen, I didn't know your name! You will be known as Ellen from here on. And OMGWTFBBQ you're giving up Zuko! -passes out- **

**Arwen Amorita- thanks for your review!**

**FireGurl107- YAY for updating! **

**AvatarMaham- YAY for updating! Yay for you writing a fanfic! Way 2 go chica! And thrice YAY for the new name, foreverhorses! **

**Wow that was a long intro… I'm sorry if I skipped your review, if I did thanks anyways! Well, instead of torturing you even more and making you wait…………………………………………………………… ok I'm done. On with the story!**

**Wise inner person- FINALLY!**

**Me- SHUT THE HELL UP! -clobbers inner wise bitch person- MESS NOT WITH FEMALE HORMONES! Seriously, guys, that's some quality advice right there. If it's that time of the month for your girlfriend, do her a BIG favor and give her lots and lots of chocolate and don't say anything like "Your butt DOES look big in those jeans" or prepare to die.

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**

We flew over the water towards blessed land in the sleek boat. Ellen was staring at us like we all had grown another head, and I really don't blame her. We were dressed up like freakin' sluts for God's sake! Colleen was still rather prickly about me teasing her, so when she noticed the other girl staring, she didn't hesitate to give her the finger.

"Ouch!" Ellen said, putting her hand over her heart and plastering a hurt look on her face.

"Enough with the fighting, kids. I'm too tired to play ringleader right now," I moaned, sitting up and glaring at Colleen. Colleen stuck her tongue out at me, so I bent her finger back the wrong way.

"OWowowowow, MERCY!" Colleen yelped, trying to pull her middle finger out of my grasp.

"I have no mercy for non-Zutara fans," I growled, letting her finger go all the same.

"You have issues, you know that?" This comment came from Ben, and he turned his attention from the steering wheel to our little girl fight. "You all do."

"Thanks very much," I said dryly, leaning back against the leather seat.

"FOR GOD'S SAKE, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE DRIVING!" Ellen shrieked, lunging for the wheel before we collided with a rock formation. "Holy crap, we almost died."

"Psh. That's nothing. I had to endure a HUGE explosion, and then being tortured into slut clothes, and then being rescued by a knight in a shining motorboat!" Amber ranted, and we victims nodded our heads. "Come complain to me when you've gone through that."

"Why Amber, I do believe you are actually being smart-assed for once!" I commented, patting her on the back. "I'm proud of you!" I earned a few weird looks for my trouble and the rest of the ride back was spent in silence. Sokka, Katara, Zuko, and Aang were sitting quietly in their seats, looking incredibly freaked out. I really don't blame them.

Right before we docked, Aang asked the bombshell question. "What is Zutara?"

I seriously considered throwing myself off the boat rather than explain to the kid what Zutara was. "It's nothing," I muttered.

"But you told Colleen that you had no mercy for non-Zutara fans. That must mean that you're a fan of whatever it is and she isn't, am I right?"

"Kid, you are too damn smart for your own damn good," I said, staring at him. "Zutara is a pairing, or a ship, as we fans call it. Remember what I showed you on the TV? That show that you guys were in? We are all dedicated fans, and because we have too much free time, we come up with ships. Zutara is one of them. It stands for-" I couldn't bring myself to say it.

"It stands for what?" Katara asked, becoming involved in the conversation.

"Oh, God. It stands for Zuko-Katara, ok!" A loooong, heavy silence followed, the kind that makes you feel like sinking into a hole, usually because this kind of silence follows something awkward or embarrassing.

Aang looked like he had had his heart cut out with a pickax, and Katara looked dangerously close to fainting. Zuko, being the dignified prince that he is, simply flushed a bright red.

"So… DO you like each other?" I asked, breaking the silence. Katara looked down at her hands and blushed, and Zuko looked away, an uncomfortable look on his face. "HA! I knew it!" I crowed triumphantly.

"Um, can we pick a different topic to talk about?" Sokka asked, squirming in his seat. "Because this is a little awkwar- OH MY GOD, KELSEY, WHAT HAPPENED!"

I had stood up to get out of the boat, and I turned around to stare at him. "What on earth are you talking about? I feel fine!"

"B-but, when you stood up your seat had a whole bunch of blood on it!"

I went pale. Sokka was right, there was a small pool of blood on the seat I had just vacated, and when I touched my butt, it came away coated with the red stuff. "SHIT!" I yelled, grabbing a black towel and wiping away the blood on the seat. "Shit, shit, SHIT! Why, God, why now!" I wrapped the towel firmly around my waist and stomped back to the villa as best as I could in stilettos.

"What happened to her?" Zuko asked, staring after my receding form.

"Sokka, remember that thing you found in Kelsey's room, the one she got really pissed off at you about?" Colleen asked. Sokka nodded. "Well, this is what they're used for. It happens to all teenage girls once a month, and what a time for Kelsey to get hers!"

"Yeah, I got mine last week," Amber lamented, looking at Katara. "What about you?"

"Mine just ended the day before we came to your world," Katara whispered, blushing slightly.

"Katara, this happens to you too?" Sokka asked, bewildered. "You never told me about it!"

"Well, it's not something that most girls talk about in a public conversation!" Katara retorted, climbing out of the boat. Aang climbed out after her, then Sokka, Zuko, Colleen, Amber, Ellen, and Ben.

When they got to the villas, Colleen, Katara, and Amber went into the girl's villa and Sokka, Zuko, and Aang entered the boy's one. Ellen and Ben waved their good-byes and walked into their respectable villas.

"Stupid motherfucking hormones," I growled, ripping around in the paper bags of food we had brought on the trip. "Where's the chocolate?" Instead of a Hershey bar, my hand touched two twelve-packs of Bud Light. I pulled them out, and looked at Colleen with one eyebrow up.

"Um, heh, I t-thought, just in case?" Colleen stuttered sheepishly, squirming uncomfortably.

"You are an effing genius, you know that? Who's up for a party tonight?"

* * *

(A/N: In case you guys haven't guessed the ages for this story yet, I'm 15, Colleen and Amber are both 16, Ben and Ellen can pick their ages, and the Avatar people are the same age as they are on the show)

* * *

I popped my head through the door of the guy's villa. "Sokka, Zuko, you guys up for a little party tonight?"

"Party? Sure!" Sokka answered enthusiastically, and Zuko nodded.

"Hey, how come I'm not invited?" Aang whined from his place on the couch.

"Because you're not old enough," I said sweetly.

"I'm 112!"

"You didn't gain those hundred years, kid. In my book, you're 12," I said, pulling my head back outside. "Amber, Colleen, you guys go ask Ben and Ellen if they wanna come, I'm going to the convenience store to get snacks."

I stepped into the air-conditioned mini-mart and headed straight for the chip aisle, pulling down bags of Lays and Doritos as I walked. Tostitos and salsa went in the basket too, along with some soda in case people didn't want beer. I gave the person behind the counter my debit card, and strode back up to the villa considerably weighed down by the food.

Once inside, the food went into the mini fridge along with the two cases of Bud, and Colleen was picking out a DVD to watch. "How do Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Heartbreakers sound to you?"

"Fine, fine. Did you bring some CDs?"

"Yeah, I have Kelly Clarkson and Now 20," Colleen answered, poking through her backpack.

"Perfect. I have Black Eyed Peas, Gwen Stefani, and Fall Out Boy. That should last us the night. Roll up the carpets, its party time!"

* * *

(A/N: I know there's a lot of these, but Ellen, Ben, I put you in the party scene not because I think you would actually do this, but because it just put more people in the scene. Don't worry; you guys won't do anything bad besides drinking)

* * *

"I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster, and you father smelt of elderberries!" Even though most everyone besides Katara, Sokka, and Zuko had seen the movie already, we were all clutching our sides from laughing so hard. I wiped a tear from my eye.

"That part gets me every time," I giggled, almost spilling my beer on the floor. In the background, "My Humps" blasted, and the counter in the kitchenette was lined up with drinks and snacks.

"Me too," Ellen laughed, taking a big bite of her chips and salsa.

Katara hesitantly sniffed a can of Bud. "What is this stuff?"

"It's beer," I said, my words slurring slightly. "It's got alcohol in it, so if you don't want to get wasted, I suggest you drink soda." I smiled at her and took a sip of my drink. Katara popped the tab after some struggling and took a quick sip. She made a face. "It does take some getting used to," I said wryly.

"Ok, boys and girls, it's time for the ceremonial game of Truth or Dare!" Ellen called, clapping her hands together and weaving slightly on the spot. "For all you noobs who haven't played this before, the rules are as such. One person starts and asks another person the question 'truth or dare?', and the person asked has to choose. If they pick truth, they have to answer a question honestly, and they can't turn back. If they pick dare, they have to do a dare, and it can be as crazy as the person asking wants it to be. You get three chickens when you pick dare, but after three you have to do it. If you pick truth three times in a row, you have to do a dare after your third truth. That just about covers it, so who wants to start?"

Colleen waved her hand in the air wildly, and Ellen pointed at her and sat down heavily, sloshing her beer. "Let's see, Katara. Truth or dare?" Colleen asked, looking at the waterbender.

"Um, truth," Katara answered.

"Ok. Hmm… who would you rather kiss, Zuko or Aang?"

Katara flushed, and looked down at her hands. She muttered something incoherent.

"Sorry, didn't catch that," Colleen trilled cheerfully, mostly in part because she was on her second can.

"Z-Zuko," Katara whispered, turning as red as a beet. Zuko stared at her wide-eyed, and she blushed even harder. "Is it my turn? Um, Sokka, truth or dare?"

Sokka grinned. "Dare," he said, puffing out his chest.

"I dare you to… kiss Kelsey!" Katara smirked at her brother. His chest deflated almost instantly.

"Katara… you're evil." He put a hand under my chin and turned my face so I was facing him. Slowly, he leaned closer, and I closed my eyes, feeling the stares of all the other people in the room. His soft lips pressed against my own, and fireworks went off in my brain. I felt like I was flying; this was everything a first kiss should be like. It was over all too quickly, and I was sent crashing back to earth.

"Whoa…" I breathed. Everyone was staring at me, and I felt my face heat up. It was Katara who broke the silence.

"Ok, NOW you can say you've kissed a girl," she teased, poking her brother in the shoulder.

"Hey! What about Yue?" he protested, completely unfazed.

"She kissed you, remember, not the other way around."

"Whatever. Ben, truth or dare."

"Truth," Ben answered hesitantly.

"Have YOU ever kissed a girl?" Sokka asked jokingly.

"Um, no, I haven't kissed a girl before," Ben said, looking relieved that the question was so simple. "Uh, Zuko, truth or dare?"

Zuko looked slightly uncomfortable, but he shrugged and replied with dare.

"Your dare is to, um, you have to kiss Katara!" I gaped at him. This was totally unlike the Kataang Ben I knew. Ben noticed my face and grinned. "Well, Aang isn't here right now, is he?"

Katara's mouth was opening and closing like a fish out of water, and a blush was creeping up her neck. "I-I-" she was cut off by Zuko's mouth being pressed over hers. At first, her eyes opened even wider, but then they shut tight and her arms snaked themselves around Zuko's neck.

Sokka was sitting next to me, eyes as round as saucers, and it was his turn for his mouth to open and close without a sound. He made a little choking noise as Katara parted her lips to allow Zuko further access, and looked dangerously like he might jump over and strangle the older boy. I seized a can of beer and poured the drink into Sokka's open mouth. He almost choked on the beer, but gratefully took the can and downed the whole thing in three gulps. After he was done, he looked marginally calmer about the whole matter, and swayed slightly where he sat.

Finally they had to come up for air, and Katara was sitting next to Prince Zuko, cheeks pink, gulping in oxygen. I handed her the can of beer she hadn't finished, and she too gulped that down. Zuko had already had two beers, and he growled softly at Katara, who giggled and sealed her lips back over Zuko's.

"Right," I said. "It looks like Zuko is too busy playing tonsil hockey to take his turn, so I'll just go. Who wants to ask me?"

Ellen waved her hand in the air, and took a steadying breath. "Truth or dare?" she asked thickly.

"Dare," I said. I am most definitely one to take risks.

Ellen grinned evilly. "Your dare is to relieve yourself of your shirt."

I whimpered at her. "B-but…,"

"You're not wearing a bra are you?" Ellen pouted. I shook my head, blushing madly. "Fine. Your new dare is to…

* * *

**Cliffie… I am too evil… please review, reviews are my food! FEED ME! OMFG March 17 is not coming fast enough! The first eppy is called "The Avatar State" and the second is called "The Cave of Two Lovers"… I hope Zuko and Katara are those 2 lovers… mwahaha… but it's most likely going to be a Kataang… boo. And I'm sorry I butchered you Ben! Seriously! It just sort of happened! XD youprobably hate meright now...**


	10. Chapter 10

**Why I am Locked Up in a Looney Bin**

**Chapter 10: Lifeskills Class of Doom! **

**Alas, the plot bunnies attacked me again for this new chapter when Colleen and I were looking at some slightly disturbing icons and fanart… that means you, Booter. At our school, Lifeskills is a required course that you have to take or you pretty much fail. It is pure torture, let me tell you. Sitting on sofas and chairs and looking at graphic flipcharts and movies… not pleasant. It is my sincerest hope that the insanity stops before it gets out of hand and we all have to pour bleach in our eyes. I mean, making all of us, even the girls, put condoms on our fingers? That was weird. Those things stretch like crazy! Anyways, I thought, _why not share the love with the Avatar cast?_ And so, in this chapter they must endure the gulag of Lifeskills. I am way too evil. I also subject them to the horrors of fanfiction. BAD Kelsey. Anyway, how 'bout that new episode, eh? Was it not the coolest thing since spray cheez? Tai Lee could combat with Aang for the title of most perky and Azula is the bitchiest bitch on the face of Planet Bitch. And on The Cave of Two Lovers, Song was the coolest female character ever invented, and I have a new OTP: Soko! I am writing several oneshots on this pairing, which I totally drool over. I have not completely eschewed Zutara, but until it happens in canon, this is the only pairing I support. Yayziz! **

**Kudos for all you little reviewers- **

**The archer- oh, so you HAVE kissed a girl… my bad. Glad you likies!**

**Renealee- you're TWELVE! Holy shit you talk like you're fifteen or something… kids these days… **

**Foreverhorses- love you too Bambi!**

**FireGurl107- glad you like, hope you enjoy!**

**And uh, many others, but these are the ones I can remember off the top of my head. Fehhhh… **

**The compulsory disclaimer of death: -looks under bed- MOM! I can't find my Avatar!**

**Mom: you never had it anyways, Kelsey!**

**Me: oh, right. Boo.

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**

"Was that not the best party EVER?" Colleen exclaimed as she looked out the car window. Spring Break had come to a conclusion, and we were making the four-hour drive back home from Banks Lake.

"Yeah," I conceded, concentrating on my driving. "I still have a headache from that hangover."

Amber stuck her head through the gap in the seats. "Well no duh, Kelsey, you had like three cans." I took one hand off the wheel and poked her in the forehead.

"You little hypocrite, so did you!"

"Would you guys quit your arguing for three seconds?" Zuko growled from the backseat. "It gets a little annoying after awhile."

"I second that," Sokka said. "It's bad enough having to deal with Katara's wailing all the time!" That earned him a sharp slap from his sister.

"GUYS!" Aang yelled. "Do you seriously want me to crawl back there and make you be quiet? I am trying to sleep!" Aang was sitting in the second row of the SUV with Amber, while Zuko, Sokka, and Katara were in the back row.

"We wouldn't all be crammed in this car together if _someone_ hadn't driven their new car into the lake," Zuko snickered, looking at Colleen.

"Hey, it's not my fault! The brake died and it slid down the hill!" Colleen howled, turning around to glare at the teenager.

"Down girl," I laughed, redirecting my attention back to the road, which was now splitting off into a fork. I flicked on the turn signal and hung a sharp left turn, which resulted in Sokka getting smooshed against the window as Katara and Zuko plowed into him from the momentum.

After several minutes of silence, Colleen started laughing.

"What?" I asked.

"I still can't get that image of you bellydancing in your pajamas out of my head," she giggled. I blushed and shoved her.

"You know very well that Ellen dared me to do that!" I whined. Everyone else began laughing as well, and finally I had to admit defeat. "Well, it _was_ pretty funny," I said.

"What are you talking about? When did Kelsey bellydance in her pajamas?" Aang asked. "Was this at that party I wasn't invited to?"

"Yep," I snickered. Daring me to bellydance on the table to Green Day's "She's a Rebel" was a pretty good dare.

The rest of the ride passed somewhat uneventfully, except for Momo coughing up a hairball on Amber's lap.

"We're almost home, guys," Colleen called out an hour later. I turned down the driveway and everyone cheered as my house came into view. They climbed out of the car and I took out my keys to open the door.

"Mom? Dad? We're home!" I yelled into the house, slinging my duffel on the floor. There was no answer, so I looked at the fridge to see if there was a note there. A small slip of paper was taped to the front, and I ripped it off.

_Dear Kelsey and Co._

_Dad and I flew out to the East Coast on Friday. Grandma is sick and she needed us there. Coming back on Tuesday, hopefully. Take care._

_Love, Mom_

"Oh, that's real nice, mom. You could have called me on my cell!" I growled at the paper before chucking it in the garbage. I walked over to the den, where everyone was settled and chatting. "News, guys, Mom and Dad aren't here 'til Tuesday, so it's just you and me."

Colleen and Amber coughed loudly.

"Oh yeah, and those guys." They glared at me.

"My parents are in Tahiti, remember, so I'm stuck with you too!" Colleen stated, crossing her arms.

"My family is all in Mississippi visiting my relatives," Amber said softly.

I stared at them incredulously. "Uhhh… slumber party it is! We're going to need some food…"

Later that night, after doing some grocery shopping, we were all lounging in the living room with sleeping bags, pillows, and blankets scattered all over. I pulled out my trusty laptop. "I might as well check to see if anything updated," I sighed, connecting to the internet and logging onto fanfiction. Katara peered curiously over my shoulder as I scrolled down the long list of stories, occasionally clicking on one to look at it.

"What is that?" she asked after a few minutes. I glanced back at her.

"This is a website called where you can post stories about books or cartoons or movies. I write on here," I explained, still scrolling.

"What does AU stand for?" she asked, pointing at one particular fic.

"AU stands for Alternate Universe, OC stands for Original Character, OOC means Out Of Character, RR stands for Read Review… the list goes on. On here they have romance, drama, action, humor, horror, poetry… all sorts of stuff for tons of different subjects."

"Ooh, romance," Katara squealed, looking at the screen intently. I looked at her cautiously.

"I warn you, some people on here are pretty crazy with the pairings. I already told you about Zuko/Katara, but there's Katara/Aang, Sokka/Suki, Sokka/Yue, Appa/Momo, Appa/Katara, Momo/Katara, Aang/Meng, Zuko/Meng, Yue/Hahn, Sokka/Azula-"

Zuko looked up. "WHAT?" he yelped, horrified. "My sister with HIM!"

"You have a sister?" Sokka asked. "That would mean she's a princess, right? Aang, didn't they call that girl that was chasing us in Omashu Princess?"

Aang thought for a moment. "Yeah, yeah they did." He looked over at Zuko. "Does your sister have black hair and a little topknot with a flame shaped crown?" Zuko nodded stiffly. "Oh, then that _was_ her that tried to kill me!"

"Getting back to the topic," I growled. "Azula/Sokka, Azula/Aang, Momo/Sokka, Appa/Sokka, Azula/Zhao, Azula/Iroh, Mei/Zuko, Tai Lee/Zuko, Ozai/Azula, Iroh/Jun, Iroh/Herbalist, Iroh/Aunt Wu, Pakku/Katara, Song/Zuko-"

Zuko blushed lightly.

"-Katara/Jet, Katara/Haru, Katara/Teo, Katara/Sokka-"

Sokka made a face of pure disgust, as did Katara.

"-and then we come to the slash pairings."

"Slash?" Zuko asked.

"Yeah, slash. For example, Sokka/Zuko, Zuko/Aang, Sokka/Aang, Zuko/Zhao, Iroh/Zhao, Katara/Jun, Katara/Azula, Azula/Mei, Hahn/Sokka, and I think that just about covers it. It's disgusting. It's unnatural. And yet, some people love it."

Everyone had the most hilarious looks on their faces. Aang was the first to speak. "You're kidding, right?"

"Nope. Let me show you something." I clicked on the C2 button and scrolled down to a particular community.

"Zuko's Avatar, Aang's Prince," Aang read. "A community devoted to Zuko/Aang or Aang/Zuko." He made a face.

Zuko seized the computer from me and stared at the screen. Cautiously I showed him how to work the mouse and clicker buttons, and he double-clicked on one of the fics. After reading the words on the screen for a few minutes, he reeled back in terror. "MY EYES!" he screeched. I commandeered the computer back from him.

"Not only that, they make pictures for these pairings too!" I said devilishly, deciding that torturing them was entertaining. I quickly logged onto livejournal and went to avatarfans. I searched around the posts for a while before coming across the icon I was looking for. "What do you think of them apples?"

Everyone stared at the laptop. The icon read _Wider Aang, Zuko's a big boy!_ and had a picture of Aang with his mouth in an "o".

"I don't get it," Aang said after a moments pause. Zuko looked like he could have combusted from humiliation, and Sokka and Katara were just sitting there with their jaws slack. Colleen, Amber, and I all snickered.

Colleen started up her laptop too, and soon turned it around so we could see the icon on her screen. This one said _Sorry Zuko, Size Matters_ on it, with a picture of a very big stick and a very small fish speared on the stick.

Katara started giggling, and soon Sokka joined her. Colleen was already snorting with laughter, as were Amber and I. Zuko had an expression of complete and utter embarrassment on his façade, but Aang was still blissfully unaware of the true meaning of the icon.

"Wow, that's a small fish, Zuko!" Aang laughed. We all stared at him and cracked up even harder.

"Y-you don't g-get it, do you?" I choked through my giggles.

"It's not talking about the fish?" Aang asked, looking incredibly confused.

"No Aang, it's not about the fish," I chuckled before bursting into fresh peals of mirth. Tears began running down my face from laughing so hard, and I struggled to breathe. My stomach muscles ached and I bent over and clutched my torso. "C-can't… b-b-breathe," I gasped, finally pausing long enough to draw in long, much needed breaths of sweet oxygen.

Aang was still looking put out for not being included in the fun. "I want to know what it means!" he pouted, crossing his arms.

"If you were in our Lifeskills class, then you would know what it meant," Colleen snorted. My laughter ceased at once.

"Oh God, no! We have Lifeskills tomorrow!" I shrieked, looking petrified.

"What is Lifeskills?" Aang asked. "Can you at least tell me that?"

"Lifeskills, aka Class of Doom and Absolute Torture, is a class where we learn the finer points of being alive, like say, the reproductive organs?" I whimpered. Katara and Sokka looked at eachother. Zuko paled visibly, and Aang STILL looked confused.

"Say what?" he questioned.

"This is what I get for trying to explain sex to a twelve year-old," I grumbled. "Aang, I'm not telling you, because you are going to experience it tomorrow when you come to school with us!"

"Wait, do we have to come too?" Sokka yelped, leaping up. Katara whimpered, and Zuko's eye widened.

"Yes you do," I said. "Tomorrow you are coming to school, and you are not under any circumstances going to bend or even mention bending. You will be disguised appropriately, because some people might still remember you flying through the window of our math room. Katara, you will answer to the name Katrina. Aang, your name will be Aaron, Sokka, you are Sean, Zuko, your name is Zach. Any questions?" I barked, taking complete control.

Aang raised his hand. "Uh, Kelsey, we don't read English," he said meekly.

I paused. This was a slight problem. "Ummm…" I said, thinking hard. I snapped my fingers as an idea came to me. "Exchange students! You guys are exchange students from… Beijing!"

"Oookaay…" Aang replied hesitantly.

"Good," I said shortly. I exited out of livejournal and was about to close my computer when Zuko's hand shot out and stopped me. "What is it?" I asked curiously.

"Your background," he said incredulously.

"Eheheh," I giggled meekly. I had made an icon of my own and set it as my desktop background. It was a picture Zimmay from DeviantArt had drawn, and I had cropped it and added some special effects. It was a picture of Zuko and Song sitting on Song's porch, holding hands and hugging. I had put a little heart on it and typed "Soko" in curvy letters. He glanced over at me. "Whaaat?" I asked innocently. "I am nothing but a Soko fangirl!"

"I thought you said you liked Zuko/Katara," he said flatly.

"Well, that was before The Cave of Two Lovers. You do realize Song liked you, don't you?"

He blushed slightly. "I got the feeling she did…"

I shut the screen. "We should get to bed," I yawned. "The alarm's going off at 6:00 am tomorrow, so we need some sleep. 'Night everyone." I turned out the lamp and there was the sound of blankets rustling as everyone readjusted for sleep.

* * *

_BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!_

"Alright already, I'm up!" I grumbled drowsily. My hand slid out of my sleeping bag and groped around for the alarm clock. After turning it off, I sat up and rubbed my eyes. Aang was also sitting up and stretching, as was Katara. Zuko was already fully awake and climbed off the couch. I couldn't help but admire his abs, but quickly looked away when he glanced down at me. Amber groaned and blearily opened her eyes, but Sokka and Colleen were still dead to the world. "Wake up you two," I said, stifling a yawn with my hand. Sokka woke up after a few kicks to the ribs, but Colleen just mumbled something incoherently and rolled over.

"Colleen, wake up or I'll bend cold water on you," Katara threatened, pulling a long stream of water out of her canteen.

"No bending during the day, remember," I admonished. "But you can bend now; I just don't think water will wake her up. Only one thing can wake Colleen." I grinned slyly and began to tickle her furiously through her blankets.

"Aaaah! Kelsey stop!" Colleen yelped, jumping up.

"Finally you're awake. Jeez, you're lazier than Sokka!"

"I think I resent that. Too sleepy to tell," Sokka mumbled, standing up.

"Ok, everyone get dressed!" I said, clapping my hands, which was weird because I am NOT a morning person.

There was a small commotion as everyone dug through their bags in order to find something to wear. "Bathrooms are there and there," I said, pointing in various directions. I myself walked upstairs to my room and poked around my closet. I got dressed and walked downstairs in my socks.

"Why are you two wearing the same thing?" Sokka asked, considerably more awake. I glanced at Colleen and started giggling. We were both wearing navy polos, our volleyball sweatshirts, and our Campbell plaid skirts. "It's our school uniform," I explained. "We have to wear this. This, or beige pants."

Sokka looked down at his own ensemble of jeans and a Motocross t-shirt. "Won't we stick out?" Sokka asked.

"Visitors don't have to wear uniforms," I explained.

"Lucky ducks!" Colleen complained.

"How come she isn't wearing a uniform?" Aang asked, stabbing his thumb at Amber, who was wearing jeans and a red Adidas shirt.

"Because I don't go to the same school as they do," Amber said through a hair tie she had clenched in her teeth. She swept her hair back and wrapped the tie around it, pulling it into a ponytail.

"C'mon, breakfast time," I announced, leading the way into the kitchen. After a brief meal of toast and cereal, we made our way out to the driveway. I handed Amber a set of car keys. "You get to take Old Woody," I smirked. She grimaced. Old Woody was an ancient station wagon with wood paneling, hence the name. "Take care of him!" I sang, waving at her as she grudgingly started the relic and drove up the road.

I grabbed my purse from the laundry room and turned the key in the engine of the SUV. "Pile in, gang. We have a long day ahead of us."

* * *

"How was I supposed to know that Mrs. Parks was very touchy about her hair?" Aang complained as I dragged him out of our History classroom, my cheeks flaming.

"Aaron, it's just good common sense not to say that someone's hair looks your pet's butt after he's rolled in the mud!" I growled, shoving him up the stairs. Sokka snickered into the back of his hand. "Shut up, Sean. I got in big trouble!"

"Uh, Kelsey, who are these people?" someone asked. I looked up and saw the familiar face of my friend and fellow avatard Jens.

"Uh, exchange students from Beijing!" I said, hoping that he wouldn't recognize them as the people from Avatar. "This is Aaron," I explained, holding up Aang's wrist. "And that's Sean, Katrina, and that is Zach." Zuko had a baseball cap tilted down over his scar, and Aang had another cap to hide his arrow.

"You look familiar," Jens said as he tried to see Zuko's face. Zuko tilted his chin down even farther and gave Jens a cold stare through his good eye. "Fine," Jens retorted, scowling at him.

"Zach, don't be rude! He's nice," I exclaimed, jumping to Jens's defense. "Sorry," I explained sheepishly. "Zach isn't much of a people person."

"Kelsey, you don't have to apologize for me," Zuko growled, his chin coming up so he could look Jens in the eye.

"Well you weren't doing the greatest job yourself!" I snapped. "Now come on, or we'll be late for math."

We walked out the door of the new wing towards the student lounge. The most direct route was under a covered walkway, which was usually pretty sheltered from the weather. Unfortunately, it was incredibly breezy today, and while I could put a hand on Aang's head to keep his hat on, I couldn't really reach Zuko's head. His cap was caught in a breeze and blew off. Fortunately, the only people currently on the walkway were myself and the others and Jens.

"SHIT!" Zuko cursed, lunging for the flyaway hat. His scar looked even more obvious in the gray daylight that filtered through the customary clouds. Jens's eyes widened to their limits as he finally put two and two together.

"Zuko!" he asked incredulously. He looked around. "Then these people are Katara, Sokka, and Aang?"

"Way to be observant, genius," I grumbled dryly, assisting Zuko in the capture of his hat. He finally pinned it against the fence and jammed it back on his head.

"Man, we're gonna be late for sure," I complained miserably. I ran to the lounge and pulled my math books out of my locker, which is harder than it looks because my locker is like a minefield. That exploded.

We barged into the math room, and right away I noticed the patched up window. A large piece of cardboard had been duct taped over the hole.

"What's your excuse this time, Kelsey?" Mr. Rockne sighed.

"I'm showing exchange students around, sir."

"Fine, you're cleared," he grumbled. I took my seat and pulled out the math homework I had finished over the break.

"Who's the hot guy?" my friend Katie asked, leaning over and whispering in my ear.

I followed her gaze and saw she was staring at Zuko. "Uh, that's Zach. Zach Rife. He's an exchange student," I whispered back, comparing my answers to the ones on the overhead projector.

"Girlfriend?"

"Not that I know of."

"Kelsey, Katie, I sure hope you're talking about problem eight," Mr. Rockne barked, making me jump. "Because there is a stack of honor slips here just waiting to be signed." He turned back around to the board.

"Fuck honor slips," Katie grinned. "There are more important matters, like you introducing me to Zach!"

"Fat chance!" I hissed. "He keeps to himself and barely talks to anyone. He probably couldn't care two shits about you."

"Oh, I see, you like him too!"

"No, actually, I like Sean," I said, gesturing vaguely towards Sokka. "But I'm dead serious. The guy's a born loner."

"Oh really. We'll see about that!" The bell rang and we all gathered up our books. Katie walked right over to Zuko, who was standing with the others. "Hi! My name's Katie!" she said brightly, holding out her hand.

"Zach," he muttered, turning his face away from her.

"C'mon guys, let's go," I said triumphantly, savoring the shocked expression on Katie's face. "It's lunch now, so we can break from classes for a while. After visiting the lounge again to drop off my books and pick up Colleen and my other friends Claire and Elizabeth, we all marched off to the dining hall.

"Huzzah! It's burrito bar!" Colleen exclaimed happily.

"Damn, it's burrito bar," I exclaimed unhappily. On days like this, there was always a line the size of Long Island. As we turned the corner, I saw that I was right.

When we finally had our food, and then came the difficult task of finding a table sufficiently empty so that we had enough room to sit down. "Looks like we're sitting outside again," I groaned when we discovered that there was not an empty seat in the entire room.

"It's ok," Colleen said as we pushed open the doors that led to the outdoor dining area. There were plastic tables and chairs scattered all over, and we selected one that was sheltered from the light drizzle that was now falling from the sky.

"Hey all, what's new since we last met?" Jens asked, sitting down at our table.

"Seems like our friend Katie has developed a little crush on Zach here," I sniggered.

"Oh really? Well that's interesting!" Jens commented, spearing a piece of seasoned chicken with his fork.

"Huh?" Zuko asked. "Who has a crush on me?"

"If you remember, that girl sitting next to me in math class has a crush on you. She was asking me to introduce her to you."

"Oh, that girl who came up to me after class? She scares me. How did she get so skinny?"

I shrugged, my mouth full of tortilla, cheese, lettuce, and sour cream. "She is just super tall and super skinny."

"Who is?" Katie asked, coming towards us with her tray piled high.

"Uh, this girl who rides at my stables!" I said, quickly recovering my composure after starting slightly. I took another big bite of my burrito. Jens snorted into his Spanish rice.

Katie settled into a seat right next to Zuko, and he looked extremely uncomfortably. I choked on my milk in effort to cover up my laugh. Colleen and Jens were thrown into violent "coughing fits" as they too attempted to mask their giggles.

"What's wrong with you?" Katie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's this cough that's been going around," I gasped, massaging my throat, which was starting to painfully protest against the coughing.

"Whatever. So Zach, where are you from?" she said, smiling flirtingly at him.

He looked at me in desperation, and I realized he couldn't remember what he was supposed to say. "He's from Beijing," I said, covering for him.

"I didn't ask you!" Katie snapped, and then returned her attention to Zuko, who _really_ looked like he wanted to leave.

"Man, she's bitchy when she's in love," Colleen muttered in my ear, and had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from bursting into laughter.

"Well, time to go!" I stuttered, coming to Zuko's rescue. "C'mon guys!" I seized Aang and Sokka by the arms, and Katara and Zuko followed. Colleen stumbled out of her chair and dashed after us.

"Oh my God, that was too funny!" she laughed. I nodded my assent; talking was impossible at the moment given the fact that I was hooting with laughter.

"Maybe for you, but it was just plain awkward for me!" Zuko exclaimed unhappily.

I finally got my voice back. "Damn, it's almost that time again," I groaned, looking at the clock in the hallway. "C'mon, we had better get going." We walked down the hall towards the tunnel, which was the most direct route to the classroom of no return.

When you enter the Lifeskills classroom for the first time, your impression is perhaps a teacher's lounge. There are overstuffed couches, butterfly chairs, and a beanbag chair. But then you look around and you see the posters saying "Better safe than sorry. Use protection." Then you realize that it is actually a clever ploy to try and make you relax long enough that the teacher can shut the door.

"Welcome to sexual education! Today we are going to be learning about sexually transmitted diseases, or STD's." Our Sex Ed teacher, Mrs. Nielson, brought out one of the dreaded flipcharts of mass destruction out from behind her chair. There were collective groans from the class as she turned to the first page.

"Now there are several types of STD's: genital warts, syphilis, Chlamydia, and herpes. But the most common is HIV, or AIDS. All of these are, as the name implies, transmitted through body fluids such as those produced during sex."

Katara squeaked in terror as Mrs. Neilson turned the page again to reveal a very detailed, very graphic picture of a penis covered in warts. She brought her hand up and covered Aang's eyes, which were the size of hubcaps. "Um, excuse me, but Aaron is only twelve. Can he be excused?"

Mrs. Neilson raised an eyebrow. "What's a twelve year old doing in this grade?"

"He's, uh, very far ahead of his grade in Beijing!" I explained, jumping into the melee. I stood up and pushed him out the door. "Aaron, just wait outside until we come out. And whatever you do, don't look in the window." I said this last sentence in a whisper as I hurriedly ushered him out of the room.

Once I was in my seat again and Mrs. Nielson had once again begun her rant on genital warts, I risked a glance at my companions. Sokka's normally tan skin was a pasty white, and Katara looked very much the same. I then looked over at Zuko, who was sitting on my other side. At first glance he looked unfazed by the whole thing, but then I saw his eye twitching.

I sighed. _Only forty-five minutes left, Kelsey._

Shit.

* * *

**-wipes forehead- this is officially the longest chapter in WIALUIALB history. And I know, the Lifeskills part didn't come until the very end, so I guess the title is irrelevant. I totally busted my ass on this chapter, so you guys had better give me reviews AND cookies! **

**Much amour,**

**Kelsey**


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